Entry tags:

fandom, home

Socialness. Or not.
*growls* One of the astrology sites I was cruising this week dropped a trojan on my system and not the good kind that come in little black wrappers. Either that or wildernessguru hit an adult site. My online cruising habits are fairly predictable and the astrology sites were the only thing different I've done this week. It was fun to see my virus control kill it. *stomp, stomp, stomp*

Icarus was sociable last night. Breaking a long-term habit of reclusiveness (particularly where fandom is concerned) Icarus actually... went out. With HP fen. One new fanfic writer (hi, thelovesupreme) and one long-term Anime mainstay (hello, katmaxwell *beams*).

The Ave is odd at night. Like visiting a foreign culture, watching 20-year-olds hang out and chat. I felt... very 40. Bear in mind that I've done the following types of "social events":

1) Dreadful after hours drinks at glossy bars in the corporate world, where you had to go for the sake of your career. Need I say more? Oh. Add the fact that I don't like to drink. I'm not against drinking, I just don't enjoy it.

2) Teenage beer parties on the beach with people -- with whom I had nothing in common -- acting increasingly like idiots as they got drunk and I didn't. Eventually they drank the beer I was holding once they figured out I wasn't going to.

3) Painfully formal dinners with clients where they're not friends, so you can't relax, and the conversation must be light and frothy, and at a superficial level that I find painful to sustain for more than an hour, rather like holding dry ice. At least the food is good, not that I can eat under those conditions.

4) Formal events classified under

A, pretentious art gallery openings with my dad's artist friends (where I'm on display as "Paul's daughter"), or
B, stiff dinners with my stepdad's ultra-wealthy family (where I'm on display as "Ed's stepdaughter"), or
C, fetes sponsored by wealthy Chinese donors (where I'm on display as "one of such-and-so Lama's entourage").

Excuse me while I bring out my plastic smile, I believe I have it in my pocket still.... Once again, at least the food is good, but I have trouble eating while sitting in the equivalent of a shopping mall display window.

5) Wedding receptions....

6) Coffee with corporate coworkers where you're kind of friends, kind of not, the politics circle the conversation like sharks, and much of it involves picking apart the faults of people not present. I slowly fall silent in the face of corporate gossip.

7) Ice cream with nuns where you're kind of friends, kind of not, the politics circle the conversation like sharks, and much of it involves picking apart the faults of people not present. For their own good, of course. The extra layer of hypocrisy doesn't add any savor to the gossip, and I'm also a silent wet blanket under those circumstances. Or else I start talking a lot, about anything else. Cats. Cats are good. Most people like cats, right?

8) Miserably dull "church barbeques" where I'm forced into light, respectable conversation over plates of hot dogs and potato salad. You're forced to go, unfortunately, because otherwise person A or B will feel slighted. It's like watching grass grow.

9) Playing pool in seedy dives with the Buddhists on the day off from retreat where we're all slap-happy with exhaustion. I like pool.

10) Kicking back with ex-pats and young Buddhist monks in run-down South Indian "hotels" (what they called restaurants in India), or discussing world politics over bowls of soup with travelers in youth hostels. People reveal the most amazing things to passing strangers.

11) Hanging out and laughing in cheap Mexican restaurants with outdoorsmen, mountain climbers, skiers, backpackers, where I'm the only woman in the room. I like men.

Only the last three have I ever enjoyed. So it's rare that I'm willing to sample unfamiliar "social events." I poke at the idea with a stick first.

Yet, after much trepidation, I liked hanging out with scarah2 (I was lured out for Ethiopian food, who can resist?) and we've chirped away in chat ever since.

So. Socialness.

I appreciated the games provided at the bubble tea place. One can always break the ice by cheating at ConnectFour. My kind of place, although looking around at kids playing board games made me feel so-very-40. Interesting to see the impact of fandom on people who encountered it a lot (a lot) younger than I did. Hard to imagine growing up with the internet (people didn't even have computers when I was 13), reading steamy slash stories (with rimming!) as their first intro to fandom.

I got lost in the anime discussions, interested, but I'm spread too thin over multiple fandoms as it is. katmaxwell agrees that RPGs kill your desire to write fanfic. It's a different kind of fanfic, I think, and all-consuming, the way having a work-out partner keeps you working out. It was a tough three-way conversation to balance because when thelovesupreme and katmaxwell got going about anime, I was lost, while when katmaxwell and I got going about long-term fandom stuff, thelovesupreme was lost. katmaxwell was the fulcrum, sensitive to balancing the conversation back and forth. I appreciated her awareness and affable good sense. It was fun describing "wank" to thelovesupreme. She hadn't encountered the term or the actuality yet. Better to know in advance.

We ended up talking HP but I'm so far out of the HP fandom at this point that I'd even forgotten Snape had died. (Of course, in my fanfic world Snape didn't die and that's that.) I still love the HP fandom as a whole with it's over-the-top dramatic history and worlds and universes of good fanfic. I'm looking forward to passing along many links.

It was a fun evening, but I hadn't eaten dinner (or lunch), had a ton of homework nagging at the back of my mind, and ran out of steam somewhere around 9 or 9:30, though we kept talking until 11:15. katmaxwell was looking a little bug-eyed, too.

Tonight, I'm being pried out of the house for a kick-boxing event with WG's coworkers.

I have two novels to read, a site visit, and two essays to write by Monday. *frets*